Your wedding day ranks right up there at the top of the list: Most Special Day of My Life!
And the pinnacle of that day are the vows you share with your special someone.
Writing your own wedding vows can be an intimidating task. Enough to make your heart race and your palms sweat. But it doesn’t have to be. After all, you are basically just telling your special person how you feel about them and promising them a lifetime of sharing and caring. It’s a message you’ve shared privately. All you need to do is jot it down for the big day.
So, let’s take a few minutes here to break this down. Here are ten tips:
1. Decide together if you are going to write your own vows. Together. Do this only if you both feel comfortable. Your wedding day is exciting day. And that excitement can bring the anxiety. You want to be able to enjoy your experience as much as possible. If he/she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing in their own words or speaking publicly, please don’t require. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Your officiant can create something lovely for you to repeat.
2. Start with a good brainstorming. Just write. Write down words that describe your partner. Write stories about the two of you. Think: THE BEST OF US! Jot down any challenges you’ve overcome. Consider what you’ve learned from your partner. Acknowledge what you expect to offer your partner in the future. Remember to say “I love you” in the special way that you two do!
3. Line up your thoughts in this order:
a. Start with your partner’s name. “[name] you are my [best friend, partner in crime, etc.]”
b. Share your story: “I fell in love with you when…” or “I knew you were the one when…”
c. Share something that the two of you have been through together.
d. Make your vows. And don’t forget the hard times. “I promise…” or “I pledge…” or “I vow to…”
e. Describe the kind of future you want to create with your partner.
f. Promise this forever.
4. Keep it conversational. You want to sound like yourself so avoid clichés and don’t worry about sounding perfect. One trick is to tape record yourself talking naturally then dictate what you’ve said.
5. Maintain good taste. You want to open your heart and share your truth. It’s okay to be sentimental or silly or wildly creative. But remember that this is public, and everyone will be excited which sometimes means edgy. So, if you choose to joke, be very gentle.
6. Stay focused. Your wedding officiant will talk about what marriage means. Likely there will be readings and songs that will cover that. You talk about you and your love for your person and what you are promising your person.
7. Long enough but not too long. I’d say about 2-3 minutes. Rehearse it and time yourself.
8. Speaking of REHEARSING! Practice out loud and in front of the mirror…maybe even in front of your bestie. Speak slowly and naturally. Use your imagination to put yourself in that moment and say it like you mean it!
9. It’s okay to get emotional.Write your message down neat and tidy so you don’t have to remember. And plan to take your time. Catch your breath. Settle yourself. And if need be, your bestie or officiant can read for you.
10. Relax and enjoy this very special day. You cannot mess this up! You’re there with the one person you love more than anything because he/she loves you back.
It’s going to be the most special day of your life!